Sometime in the doldrums of winter, some friends and I came up with a brilliant business scheme. Experts say that the best ideas for products address unmet consumer needs. The top of that list: banana transport.

There is no frustration quite like opening a lunch poisoned by banana mush. Those gooey globs mash into intimate corners of backpacks, wreaking havoc on sandwiches and causing more than their fair share of adult tantrums.

There must be a better way, we reasoned, to transport bananas.

After settling on the concept of a banana phone banana transportation pouch for its silly, irreverent quality, we set to answering the big question: should we target ironic twenty-somethings or yuppie preschoolers? Consult with an artist or engineer first?

We found lots of websites that would love our product.

We toured TechShop and quized a bemused representative on the kind of software we’d need to get design specs (“A what? I have no idea what that is.”).

One of us called an uncle to consult about copyright law.

And then, after all of that, we did a Google search. We’d always known there were products on the market, but OH MAN:

Let this be a lesson to all you would-be entrepreneurs thinking of disrupting the plastic container space: people have thought of solutions for any problem solvable by a consumer good.

And what about those thorny, immaterial concerns? You know, happiness, fulfillment, all that blah blah?

For that, there’s Raffi.